Dialog #5: Principles for Classroom Management Conversations

Is there a set of strategies that you utilize while coming up with the rationale? If you had to break down the way you manage students’ behavior in the classroom into concrete steps, what would those steps look like? Obviously there are outside factors that contribute to how you approach different students, but how do you incorporate that outside knowledge? And what do you do at the beginning of the school year when you have yet to develop that knowledge?

I think, ultimately, my basics of classroom management come down to the following:

1. HONESTY: Be direct and honest, and force them to be as well (don't accept half-measures or lies);
2. CARING but STRICT: Be warm and caring, but forceful (high, clear expectations from which you never back down even a LITTLE);
3. IMMEDIACY: Jump on it (immediacy is key - never let anything go!);
4. ACTION: Make it practical (always help them understand WHY they need help with their behavior, and specifically WHAT they can do to change - keep it actionable);
5. COMMUNITY: Build a sense of shared responsibility in the room (teach them what it means to help each other, and promote a shared sense of accomplishment and challenge).

If I were cleverer, I would come up with some sort of acronym for all that, I suppose.  

Perhaps a breakdown of the most useful messages would help, too.  This is a list of the common threads that run throughout most conversations I have with kids:

1. "You're in control of this interaction": Kids feel out of control, and often don't realize how their own emotions and reactions are getting them outcomes they really DON'T want.  Letting them know that they ARE in control, then providing them with the actions they need to take to resolve the issue gives them an out and a crucial feeling of agency.
2. "This isn't about how you feel - it's about what you do": There's some overlap with the prior message, but this one's less about control and more about getting them to separate their emotions from their actions.
3. "I am in your corner": They need to know you're trying to help and that you WANT them to learn and succeed, and you have to tell them that.  The key is to make that clear while never sending the message that you're a pushover or that you'll make exceptions for them - to tell them your care expresses itself in high expectations and a belief in their ability to meet them.
4. "School is a serious business": Make it concrete, make it clear, make it detailed and specific.  Build this into your units - it's never a bad idea to make it obvious that school is a competition, that they ARE in the "real world," that their success or failure determines a lot of their chances, and that, above all, what they do in school MATTERS.
5. "Behavior is a skill you need": School isn't just about learning concepts, it's about professional behavior, and that's a message that kids need to hear.  They need to know how to manage themselves.
6. "Story-time": This is more of a unifying script that applies to every other.  Any time you can make the real-life issues that are behind why they need to manage behavior more obvious by telling them a story, DO IT.  They'll love connecting with your life and learning about you, and they'll remember the WHY behind the WHAT better if they've got a narrative attached to it.  Want them to learn to deal with teachers they hate?  Tell a story about a time YOU (or someone you know) messed up by letting emotion get the better of them.

Some things to practice:

1. Shift Tone: Try out a lot of different approaches and see how they work.  Get quiet and serious.  Get loud and fierce.  Get really disappointed.  Be very emotionally engaged.  Be really aloof.  PRACTICE until you know what works at which times, and with which kids.
2. Read Kids: Especially when you're feeling worked up, take a time-out and focus on the KID - is this really something emotional outside of school?  Is he just being a jerk? Is he actually upset he offended you, but can't figure out next steps?  How's he feeling?  Pay attention to signs and cues, and make it about actions - in the same way doing so makes it easier for kids to process, it can make it easier for you, as an instructor, to navigate the emotional minefield of managing behavior.
3. Make It Real: This connects with "Story-time," above.  Bring in anecdotes and build a wee library of "real world examples of behavior in action."  Kids love feeling like they're getting "the real thing."
4. Talk to Them: Try to engage each student actively in at least one interaction EVERY DAY.  Shake hands, high-five, and call kids out to talk to them.  Getting into this habit will build relationships like you wouldn't believe.

Perhaps one last script - a quick reply I use often.  It's in response to the classic teenaged reply: "I don't care."

"I don't believe that.  If you didn't care, we wouldn't be out here.  You're here because you got upset - which means you DO care.  And that's a VERY good thing.  Look, you SHOULD care, and the fact that you care enough to be upset that this isn't going well - the fact that you do want to get back in there, you do want to get a better grade, you don't want to be called out ..." (pick the reason, insert) "... means that you can change it.  If you don't like this, let's talk about how to fix it."

This leads back to being concrete and action-oriented.